"It's not fair."
Miaka sighed softly, feeling her heart break in her chest for the crying man beside her.. She'd found him like this, sitting under a tree, tucked away in a secluded corner of their little sanctuary, hiding from the world he felt had finally, ultimately, rejected him.
"Why the fuck does this have to happen?? Things were just starting to be good! Kaen, and the baby.. gods, the baby!" Another sob was choked back, as Miaka brushed her hand over the younger man's back to try and console him as he pressed on. "I'll never see him! Or get to raise him! He'll never even /exist/ now!"
"That's not true, Yousui-kun.." whispered the older, more experienced Miko, who was the only Miaka he could even stand to be around out of the bunch. The others reminded him too much of things he'd given up to find his happiness.. But this one.. She was older. Married - even if it was to that rat bastard Taka. She had a son of her own. He couldn't see her as the little clumsy Miko Tamahome fell in love with.. She was a gentle, sweet, kind hearted woman. Like an older sister.. even if it was with the touch and tone of a mother that she tried to offer him solace now. "Kaen-san will be here with you. And our creator loves you too much to let you vanish. You'll never just be go-"
Angrily, he cut her off as his head whipped upward, violet eyes glaring. "Fucking easy for you to say!!" His volume made the poor woman jerk back slightly in surprise. "You'll go on!! Your getting a new incarnation! A new start!! You still have other worlds to explore!! What the fuck do /I/ have?! This was it!! This will never come again! THIS was my world and now it's OVER! Everything I wanted.. everything I worked for.. /we/ worked for.." Again, his head fell downward as his voice lowered to the pained, tiny sound it had been. "What the hell is the point of it all if it can be ripped away so easily?"
For a long moment, she couldn't answer him.. and her silence spoke mountains to him. The sobs climbed their way fiercely up his throat until his shoulders shook a few times.. and, lacking the ability to do anything else at the moment, Miaka simply slid her arm around his shoulders and tugged him closer to her. Easily, like a child to his mother, the puppet let himself slip into her arms, leaned over and against her, half laying in her lap while she stoked his hair as if he were her much younger - or much older, depending on your perspective - son.
".. Maybe it can be taken away in the blink of an eye," she finally murmured, soft, motherly touch stroking his cheek and hair, "Maybe it's all just a fleeting dream from which we all have to wake up at some point... but Yousui.. without the dream, we don't even have existence. You've made it so far already.. so much farther then so many others do. You were created out of inspiration and fostered out of love.. You have evolved so far beyond your beginnings.. Isn't that something to be proud of?" Pausing a moment, Miaka looked down at his face, his blue hair obscuring his eyes from her vision.. he couldn't even look up at her. He couldn't bare to see the look of pity he knew she would have. But, she thought, at least he'd stopped sobbing for the moment.. "Our time is not infinite.. but neither is theirs. But you.. you're special, Yousui-kun.. You are loved. You are one of the favorites that she will carry in her heart long after you have moved to living in retirement. And there, you'll always have Kaen-chan.. and your child, ne?"
"It's not the same.." he whispered in a soft, miserable voice, resting his head on her shoulder and closing his reddened eyes.
"I know," she murmured in return.
... "Miaka... Will Hikou be there too?"
Her heart broke, and it was all she could do to bite back the tears. "Yes Yousui-kun.. Hikou will be there too. Everyone will."
Slowly, he nodded his head and fell to silence for the moment, thinking this over.. until finally, his head pressed to her neck, his arms snaked around her small frame and held her tightly, like a drowning man clings to a life preserver. "I'm scared, Miaka-chan.."
"I know, Yousui-kun.." she whispered as she rocked the grown man gently, brushing back his hair with one hand as the other stroked his back.. "I know.."